


A Game of Chess

by Em_li



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Australia, Alternate Universe - High School, Bottom Harry, F/M, High School, I'll add more as I think of them, M/M, Mention of eating disorder, Moving, Past eating disorder, Top Louis, first kiss eventually, harrys first friend, past bullying
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:28:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24107500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Em_li/pseuds/Em_li
Summary: Four days. Four days is all Harry gets to settle into his new home in the small country town of Mundulla before his new High School starts. Public High school, to be exact. Public, co-ed High School, just to narrow it down further. High school alone is scary-terrifying even-and sure, Harry would be nervous no matter what, but going from a private all boys middle and high school to a public co-ed high school just makes him queasy and scared. He was never really allowed to be around girls, except his sister, Hattie, and her friends when he’d been forced to spend the afternoon at the shops with them due to Hattie being assigned the role of babysitter on occasion because god forbid Harry spends an afternoon alone in the house. And now he’s being forced to go to a high school where there will be girls. Harry doesn’t know how to act around girls. He doesn’t know how to act in general but that’s beside the point.The point is that he’s scared and nervous and he does not like his situation at all.Harry will soon realise that it's not the girls he has to watch out for, but a blue-eyed boy with chestnut hair.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Zayn Malik/Liam Payne
Comments: 5
Kudos: 21





	1. chapter one

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!  
> This is my first larry story so I apologise if the story line isnt very good or its like really bad

Four days. Four days is all Harry gets to settle into his new home in the small country town of Mundulla before his new High School starts. _Public_ High school, to be exact. _Public,_ _co-ed_ High School, just to narrow it down further. High school alone is scary-terrifying even-and sure, Harry would be nervous no matter what, but going from a private all boys middle and high school to a public co-ed high school just makes him queasy and scared. He was never really allowed to be around girls, except his sister, Hattie, and her friends when he’d been forced to spend the afternoon at the shops with them due to Hattie being assigned the role of babysitter on occasion because god forbid Harry spends an afternoon alone in the house. And now he’s being forced to go to a high school where there will be girls. Harry doesn’t know how to act around girls. He doesn’t know how to act in general but that’s beside the point.

The point is that he’s _scared_ and _nervous_ and he does not like his situation at all.

“Harry, dear, please don’t scowl like that. I know the situation is less than desirable but it’s all we can afford right now. Besides, it’ll be so much better here. I promise.” Harry loves his mother. Hettie is a sweet and compassionate woman with a heart of gold. It’s a pity that she married a mean man like Harry’s father. “How about you go help Hattie with the bags?”

“Yes, mum,” Harry mumbles and makes his way from the front lawn, where he and his mother were scrutinizing the house, to the silver Hyundai. He realizes a short moment later that his mum was probably talking about the one story house and not the public, co-ed high school disaster.

­##

The morning of his first day at this new school is, when put simply, complete shit. And he hasn’t even set foot onto school grounds yet.

It doesn’t even start that morning, is the thing. He spends the entire night tossing and turning and not sleeping at all, his guts tying themselves in knots and not loosening, just tightening to the point he feels as though he cannot breathe.

Then when he finally fell asleep, it was nightmares of first day horrors like bad hair day, embarrassment, tripping, falling, bullies, and mean teachers. You name it, Harry probably had a nightmare about it.

It was bad enough that he couldn’t sleep, so when he alarm didn’t go off at six am like he was so sure he had set it to, he just felt like crying. The day hadn’t even begun and he was already close to tears. When Harry finally checked his phone, it was already seven and he was so sure he would be late.

Currently, Harry is eating his breakfast. His burnt breakfast, to be exact. The toaster was set for raisin bread, the thick kind that needs a higher setting to fully toast. So normal bread, of course, burnt to a bloody crisp. At this point, though, Harry just does not care so he is eating the damn burnt toast, knowing his mum wouldn’t let him go without breakfast.

This is also the moment he learns from his mother that school doesn’t actually start until 8:45am so he really didn’t even need to be up until 7:30 anyway. That makes his day a little better. But he is still tired and eating burnt toast so how good can it really be.

“What are you packing for lunch, dear?” Hettie asks from the sink.

Harry stops eating for a moment. Packed lunch? What kind of school is this?

“I’ll just take some crackers or something.” Harry mumbles around his toast. He cannot be bothered with Lunch packing right now.

Then it hits him. He didn’t get a school uniform since he was here. His mum isn’t rushing to get one this morning either.

“What about school clothes, mum?”

“What about them, honey?”

“What do I wear?”

“Whatever you want. There isn’t a uniform. I can give you a list of the dress code but I know you’ll abide by them without even seeing them.”

The feeling of crying is back again and Harry doesn’t think it’s leaving any time soon. He checks the clock and see’s that its 7:26. Not too bad. Harry guesses he’ll have to leave around 8:00 if he wants to make it to school on time with the long distance travelling but that’s still plenty of time to shower and choose an outfit that suits him. He figured he would have to go to school in one of the larger neighboring towns as his town could not possibly be big enough for a high school.

Harry thinks about what he’s going to wear as if he isn’t going to just throw his skinny black jeans on and his favourite olive green ‘Obsession’ sweater and call it a day.

Of course, that’s when he remembers he hasn’t unpacked all his clothes yet and then has to go through the last two boxes to find said olive green sweater.

##

Leaving for school was another disaster on its own. Harry was ready to go and already googling the high school in his maps for a route, wanting to get there as early as possible so he can find his locker and prepare himself for the rest of the day.

But because nothing is really going Harry’s way at the moment, his plans a ruined by his lovely sister waltzing down the stairs.

“We’re not leaving yet, H. Calm down, yeah?” Hattie laughs. And – What?

“What?” Harry repeats his thoughts. “If I want to make it to school on time, we gotta leave now.” Harry stresses. He does not want to be late on his first day of grade 11. Call him dramatic, but that would probably ruin his entire year.

“Um, no we don’t. The school is in the town over,” Hattie grins, “If you’d done your research, Hazza, you’d know it only takes 10 minutes to drive there.”

Harry stares at his older sister, dumbfounded. Surely the closest town wasn’t big enough for a high school. At the speed of lighting, Harry punches the neighbouring town’s name in and sure enough, Bordertown High School was a place in the town over. The urge to cry is yet again back. She’s right.

Harry whines something pathetic and storms back up the stairs, pushing past his sister laughing wildly. Tomorrow, Harry decides, he will set his alarm for 8 O’clock.

##

Getting to school was easy. When Hattie said it was 10 minutes away, she was not joking as after exactly ten minutes of driving they arrived at their destination.

Standing at the gates, staring at the one story assortment of buildings, the feeling of wanting to cry hit full force and Harry almost broke down right then and there.

“C’mon, lil’ bro.” Hattie took Harry’s hand and walked him into the school. “We can’t stay out here forever. We need to get you to the front office so I can get to work.”

Hattie isn’t actually going to attend the school. She finished high school the year before and is now working full time along with Harry’s mum. Together, they make enough to support the family of three comfortably.

A heavy lump of something settled in Harry’s gut as he was reminded of the fact that he would be completely alone once Hattie goes to work. He would have no one to turn to if things got too much. What if he has a panic attack? What if he goes non-verbal? What if he can’t do it?

“Hey, Haz. Stop with the worry.” Hattie catches his arm in her hand. “Everything will be okay and you’ll come home tonight absolutely knackered but happy with how your day went. You’re gonna be fine.”

Harry just nods and tries to smile. He can tell his attempt didn’t work by the look of concern on his older sister’s face.

“Let’s just get this over with.” Harry mumbles.

Walking into the front office shouldn’t have been as hard as it was for Harry. He knows logically that he will be fine but in this moment, in the now, he was honestly scared shitless.

The lady at the desk wasn’t so bad. Hattie did most of the talking and the lady was kind and got everything Harry needed immediately. It didn’t help Harry’s bad feeling in his stomach, though.

Saying goodbye to Hattie was even worse. He knew she had to go to work but that didn’t help convince him it was okay.

“I’ll call someone from your current class to come and get you. They won’t be far away.” The front desk lady informed Harry. She seemed nice enough.

While he waited for this student, Harry sat down in a chair and examined his timetable. It was set out a lot differently to the one he had in England. He didn’t know what subject was which and by the looks of things, he didn’t have any breaks like recess and lunch. So much for that packed lunch.

“Hi, Mrs Hockwald, you wanted to see me?” The voice startled Harry into looking up. There was a boy standing in front of him at the desk, his back to Harry. From what Harry could see, the boy was wearing blue jeans and a black jumper with vans to complete the look. He had chestnut brown hair and was leaning forward so comfortably on the desk, Harry could see his hip pop out. But the thing that amazed Harry the most was the accent in the boy’s voice. English. The boy was English. As in from England. There was certainly undertones of an Australian accent somewhere underneath but it was predominantly English. Yorkshire English to be exact. The surprise Harry feels is so strong he forgets why he’s here.

“Yes, thank you, Louis. There is a new student and he is in your free line first up. Could you maybe show him around during class? I’d get Anne to but she’s busy, it seems.” Mrs Hochwald says.

“No worries, Miss.”

“Harry, could you come up here please?”

Harry froze. That was him. She is addressing him and Harry doesn’t know what to do. All he can focus on is the accent from the boy in front of him.

He stands up and attempts to walk to the front desk. But of course, as everything goes for Harry this morning, it goes wrong.

Harry trips on his school bad, just in time for Louis to turn around and see the fall.

Harry’s arms shoot out to balance himself, grabbing onto the nearest thing which just so happens to be none other than the strange boy himself.

Silence is what comes next. So Harry says the first thing that comes to his mind.

“Oops…” He mumbles, righting himself and letting go of the boys arm.

“Hi.” Louis says, a hint of laughter in his voice. “You must be the new student.”

“Um…yeah” Harry, again, mumbles. If Harry liked how Louis looked from behind, it is nothing compared to how he looks face to face.

His golden skin and high cheek bones and blue eyes were a deadly combination. The brown hair that looked fluffy and nice from behind looks even better from the front. The fringe curved to frame the face and eyes nicely on one side.

“Louis, this is Harry, Harry, Louis.” Mrs Hochwald’s voice broke harry out of his admiring, possibly borderline creepy, stare.

He flushes a bright red and angles his eyes to the floor.

“Well then, Harry.” Harry can hear the grin in Louis’ voice. “Let’s get this tour on the road.”

Harry quickly picked up his bag and papers, turning to follow Louis.

“Let’s start by showing you your locker.” Louis says, turning a corner and going through a door.

The door leads to a corridor, doors on one side and windows on the other.

“To your left, you have the bathrooms. There is the staff male and student male, don’t confuse the two unless you want to walk in on one of the teachers. That’s not pleasant.” Louis laughs. “There are five different places for lockers. There’s the corridor, classrooms 22-24 and 25-27, Ag and the study hub. However, that doesn’t mean it’s one place for every grade.”

Harry tries his best to listen but it’s difficult when Louis looks the way he does.

“Your locker is with mine, at the Study Hub. I’m year twelve but because there are never many of us, some year elevens get put with us but have home group in Ag, which is where you’ll be tomorrow morning.”

Louis leads Harry outside more doors and down steps, with a small warning that the steps can become really slippery when it rains. That spikes even more anxiety in Harry. Slippery places and Harry do not mix. He is such a clumsy person that falling and tripping come easy to him. So when there is the added risk of slipping, nothing is okay.

The walk is short to the Study hub, as Louis calls it.

“This place used to be called the Language Lab, but since basically only year eights and nines take French as a subject, the school just kind of changed it to the Study Hub, as a place for predominantly year twelves and their study classes.” Louis explains.

“Another thing, these lockers are shit and small and not big enough for anything at all. You can fit your bag in there but that is basically it. If you’re lucky, you might also be able to fit your laptop bag but I really doubt it.”

Laptop bag? They get laptops here? Harry’s head is spinning with all this new information. He blinks a few times to try clear some of the dizziness but it doesn’t do much.

“-Harry?” Louis’ voice pulls Harry out of his thoughts. He blinks at Louis a couple times, confused. What was Louis saying? Dammit, he needs to learn to pay attention better.

“There we go, you okay, mate?” Louis asks. “You’re very quiet.”

Harry just nods his head slowly. Speaking is not something he feels capable of at the moment.

“Right, now you’re listening, what’s your locker number?” Louis asks.

Harry stares back, his mind blank of all things but how good Louis looks in this light.

“Give me your papers and I’ll find it for you, if that’s easier.” Louis says, sounding unsure. Harry must seem like a complete mute.

Harry hands over the paper and watches as Louis shuffles through them, finding the right piece.

“Okay, so you are number 115. That’s this one over here. Just put your stuff in there and try to make it fit as best you can, then I’ll show you where your classes are. I’ve got your timetable with me now by the way, you can put all the other papers in your locker. Saves carrying it around everywhere.”

Harry did as he was told and put everything in his locker. Louis is right, these lockers are small. Half a meter tall and a quarter meter wide. Even his shoulders were wider than this.

“Okay, so your first lesson today is Study, which is your free. Year elevens only get one line of frees with six subjects. It’s not as bad as it seems, or it wouldn’t be if you didn’t have to do Research Project. That shit was hard. I was so close to failing that.”

Research Project? That sounded scary. What subject was it in? Was it for every subject? So many questions raced through Harry’s mind. What did this mean?

“I can see the panic on your face. It’s not as bad as it seems. Research Project is a subject on its own but you’ll probably learn more about that later. You’ll ace it easy, I reckon.”

Harry stared. Research Project was a subject on its own? That was kind of worse than having it for every subject. Doesn’t that mean it will need to be bigger and longer with more detail?

“Right, after this free line is Recess.” Louis showed him his table and pointed to where he was talking about. “After the first two boxes, which is just lesson one and two as a double, is recess and then after that is lesson three, which is a single. You have Art there, and then English, then lunch, then you get to start Research Project. Lucky you.”

Listening to Louis talk was like listening to his favourite music, Harry decided.

“Right, so do you have any questions?” Louis looked at Harry expectantly.

Questions? Harry can barely form a coherent thought much less questions.

The silence dragged on for a moment before Harry thought of a question.

“Are you going to be in my classes?”

Harry regrets before it is even fully out of my mouth.

Louis laughs and shakes his head. “No, Harry. I’m a year twelve so I have different lessons.” Louis pauses for a second before continuing. “Also, I don’t think I noticed before but you’re from England. So now there are three English individuals at this school.”

Harry already wasn’t looking forward to his classes if Louis wasn’t going to be in them. The fact that he was the third English student here didn’t make him feel any better either.

“Okay,” Louis claps his hands loudly.”Lets go sort out your laptop and then its pretty much recess time and we can go see my friends. That is, if you want to meet them. Niall is also year eleven but he isn’t in our free line. He takes Ag instead. You’ll be sharing every class with Niall except Art and Home Ec though, so you won’t be alone.”

Together they make their way back to the corridor and to the tech office. Harry catches a glimpse of the door and holds in a laugh. There’s a sign sticky taped to the door saying

“Have you tried turning it off and on again?”

He knows it’s a reference to some tv show, but he can’t think of it in Louis’ presence.

Louis talks to the IT lady and sorts out a laptop and then they make their way back to the Study hub, Harry carrying his new laptop in his new laptop bag on his shoulder.

“So, I can take this home with me?” Harry asks eventually, surprising himself with how smooth his voice was.

“Yes that is the whole point really. Its mostly so you can save stuff on your laptop and still access it at home. Quite smart of them really.” Louis explains.

Harry and Louis get back to the lockers and see other students standing there. Harry watches as Louis takes his phone out of his pocket and checks the time.

“Oh, look at that, it’s recess already.” He comments.

Harry’s mind clouds. Recess already? But the bell didn’t ring. Do they have a bell here?

“But…the school bell didn’t ring?” Harry phrases it like a question, unsure if he just missed it or what.

“We don’t have a bell. That’s another thing, I guess. We don’t use school bells for anything. We just all go by the time, keeping track of time is a great skill, keeps us informed of how much time we waste really. You’ll know when its time to go to class or leave class. The teachers are normally very good at keeping track of the time.”

“Oh” Harry mumbles.

Before Harry realizes it, the two boys have made their way to a table by the door to the Study hub. There are two boys sitting at the table already. One wears a graphic t-shirt and has darker skin and dark brown hair and, Harry notes, beautiful eyes that kind of sparkle in the light he’s in. The other boy is blond and blue eyed, with a bright white plain t-shirt.

“Boys, how are we?” Louis asks as he sits next to the blond boy, leaving Harry to stand awkwardly next to the table.

“Hey Lou.” The two boys say almost unanimously. The blond one gestures to Harry. “Who is this?” Harry notes an Irish accent.

“This, my good friends, is Harry. Harry, this is Niall-“ He points to the blond- “ and Zayn-“ He points to the raven haired boy. “Liam will be joining us shortly, just has to finish his open access lesson.”

“Hey man, new year twelve?” Niall asked, bright eyed.

Harry stares back. He can’t form any words. He can’t even think.

“Nah,” Louis answers for him, “New year eleven. You have a buddy now, Niall.”

“Oh sick!” Niall grins. Harry doesn’t know if he’s going to cry or scream. It’s nothing against Niall, per se, just how bubbly and bright he seems. Harry can’t deal with bubbly and bright so early into meeting someone new.

“So, Harry has art next, which I’ll take him too, but then he has English with you.” Louis says. Harry kind of likes the way louis plans this for him. He doesn’t understand why but he loves being taken care of.

“So I’ll come find you after art, okay? I have a free now so I’ll just leave early and come wait for you outside the art room and we’ll go to English together.” Niall informs Harry.

Harry nods along with what Niall is saying. He guesses agreeing would go down easier than saying he wants Louis to keep showing him places. He doesn’t want to take away Louis’ class time either. Harry guesses he probably has important classes because he is year twelve and it’s his final year.

“I really hate open access,” a voice complains from the left of Harry, dragging him from his thoughts.

“We know, Payno,” Zayn mumbles from behind his phone.

“Hey, don’t call me Payno,” Liam pouts, “You shouldn’t call your boyfriend the nickname his friends use.”

Zayn just smiles back and Harry’s head is reeling. Boyfriend?

Louis suddenly gets up and takes Harry’s arm. “Right, I’m gonna go help Harry get his things together. See you in class, and you at lunch Niall.” He says and pulls Harry’s arm to follow him around the corner.

Harry is very confused. Is Louis uncomfortable around Zayn and Liam? Is he homophobic then? Harry’s suddenly scared. He knows himself well enough to know he is most definitely not straight, but he doesn’t know if he’s gay or bisexual. If Louis is uncomfortable around Liam and Zayn then Harry has absolutely no chance with him.

“Sorry about that Harry. I could just see the utter confusion on your face.” Louis smiles, or tries to at least. It comes off as more of a grimace, Harry thinks. “Before you ask,” – Harry wasn’t going to – “Yes, Zayn and Liam are together. Are you okay with that? I need to know right now if you are or not.”

Harry stares. So is Louis okay with it then? Harry is so beyond confused.

“Uh, I am, I guess.” He manages to mumble.

Louis’ stance shifts a small amount, going from relaxed to a bit tense, giving Harry what he could only describe as a piercing look. “You guess?”

Harry panics. “er, what I mean is I guess I need to be okay with it if I’m ever gonna really be okay with myself.” Harry wants to cry. He did not mean to share that much.

“Oh really?” Louis’ piercing gaze morphs into a smirk. Suddenly the specks of dirt on the paved ground were interesting. “Well, I’m glad you aren’t a homophobe. That would have been real awkward for everyone but Niall otherwise. The boys will accept you too, by the way. You have nothing to worry about with them.”

Harry’s heart flutters. This new acceptance is a lot different from his old school. “Really?” Harry asks, hopeful eyes now staring into Louis’ blue ones. “Just like that?”

Louis smiles. “Just like that.”

Harry yet again feels like he could cry. But this time out of happiness. No one has ever accepted him like this apart from his mum ad sister.

“Did your friends back in England know?” Louis asks and wow, that’s a rough question.

“Um, you could say that, yea.” Harry mumbles. He doesn’t really want to talk about England. His memories from there are great and it’s his home country, but if he wants to start fresh and new, he needs to focus on the now and not the past.

“Well, we accept you with open arms. It’s who you are. Honestly, the school doesn’t give a rats arse about it, just tells Zayn and Liam to keep thirty centimeters apart. Which, by the way, is the rule for all couples here. Mostly joking but everyone listens to it for some reason.” Louis smirks, “If I had a boyfriend, I sure as hell wouldn’t keep thirty centimeters apart.”

_Boyfriend._

Harry blushes, hard. He knows for certain that his cheeks could rival the red of the one piece swimsuit from that movie with Zac Efron. Harry can’t think of the name.

Just as Harry opens his mouth to respond, students start appearing all around the two, breaking the silence by their chatter and laughing and constant noise.

Suddenly Louis isn’t in front of him. Harry very nearly panics. Where’d he go?

Harry turns in circles, trying to find the missing boy. All he can see is strange faces and flashes of colours from different outfits and no Louis.

Then he’s back, holding a stack of folders.

“C’mon Harry, we gotta get you to class.” Louis takes Harrys arm and pulls him along, out of the crowd of students. The panic subsides a moment later, replaced with an uncomfortable feeling of displacement. Harry doesn’t belong here, he’s sure. These people all know what they are doing, where they are going. Harry has no idea. He wouldn’t be able to even find his way to the bloody bathrooms without getting lost in this school.

Louis leads Harry to a large classroom. The doors are see through with multiple windows and the tables are arranged in lines, all connected.

“Okay, so I’ll stand outside with you until the teacher lets you in and then I’ll go to class and Niall will meet you after class. Make sense?” Louis grins.

Harry nods, his eyes flitting from the closed door to the pillars holding up the shelter, to the other students standing and waiting, then to Louis’ warm blue eyes.

“Alright, you can go in.” Calls a far off voice. Harry looks over and sees a woman walking towards the students. He knows that he is staring but he can’t help it. Is this the teacher? He wonders as she walks closer.

The teacher nears the two boys, wearing loose pants that are colourful and bold, with a matching blouse. The whole outfit kind of scares Harry if he is being truly honest with himself.

“Louis.” The woman says, obviously displeased. “What can I help you with?”

“Hello Katie. I promise I wont be entering the classroom. I’m just here to drop of Harry and introduce him to you. He’s a bit shy, you see.” Louis grins at Harry, who makes no attempt to return the gesture.

The teacher looks to Harry, her gaze turning from a slight glare to gentle in moment.

“Well, lovely to meet you, Harry. I’m Miss Fitzroy, but most students just call me Katie.” Miss Fitzroy looks back at Louis. “Don’t you have a class to get to, Louis?”

“Yes, so I will be off then.” Louis passes two of the folders he is holding to Harry. “I gotta get to maths. You’ll be fine and I’ll see you at lunch with the boys. Seeya!” Louis pats Harrys arm.

“Bye Louis.” Harry mumbles as Louis turns away.

“Right, Harry. Lets get you introduced to the class, then.” Miss Fitzroy claps her hands and walks through the now open door, Harry following closely behind.

##

Art was a long subject. Harry really didn’t like it. It started off with roll call, with Miss Fitzroy asking everyone to put their hands up when their name was called so Harry would know who everyone was.

It wasn’t hard to remember names. There was only four other people. But when she asked Harry to stand up and introduce himself, he almost cried.

Harry learnt in that lesson that Miss Fitzroy had a bad sense of humour. Because after she asked him to, she said she was joking. Gave Harry a split second of panic for nothing.

But now class was over and Harry could somewhat relax. He could see Niall standing at the pillar outside the classroom, which spiked his nerves but Niall seemed really nice so he didn’t worry too much.

Harry was just about to leave the classroom, books in hand and eyes set on the blond boy, when someone touches his arm.

Harry flinches so hard that he drops all his gear.

“Hey!” An overly cheery voice filters into Harry’s mind. “So you’re new?”

It takes a moment for the question to process. “Um..yeah I guess.” Harry mumbles while picking up his dropped things.

“Oh my god. Are you British?!” The voice exclaims.

Harry finally looks up at this girl, taking in her blue eyes and her blonde hair.

“That is so cool! I wish I was British. I’d just never stop talking.” The girl continues to talk, bending down to help Harry with his things.

Harry immediately doesn’t like this girl. He really didn’t want people to make a big deal about his accent. It’s not like it really has any effect on who he is as a person.

“Barbara, babe, leave the kid alone.” Niall laughs from behind Harry.

“But Niall.” Barbara drags his name out. “He’s British!”

Harry inwardly groans. Why does she keep saying it?

Harry looks to Niall sheepishly. He had hardly spoken around Niall so he wouldn’t have known.

“You are?” Niall asks.

“Uh, yeah. You probably didn’t notice coz Louis talked for me before.” Harry says, a little more confidence in his voice. This is Niall, Louis’ friend. If Louis thought he was a good guy then he must be a good guy, right?

“Oh shit, you are. Well, we best be going Barbs. English awaits and all.” Niall hurries to say to the girl, motioning for Harry to follow him.

English is as boring as it sounds. The teacher very nearly ignores Harry’s entire existence, which he is extremely thankful for.

They borrow library books for the class reading and start reading right away. Harry is surprised to note that the class novel is Destroying Avalon. Funnily enough, Harry has read this book already and decided he does not like the ending.

Niall sits next to Harry the whole lesson and between the teacher reading chapters, tells Harry about Australia.

Harry knows about Australia, of course he does. He just doesn’t know enough to live there.

“Alright, home work for this week is reading chapter three and noting any themes or techniques used by the author. Please make note that this will be useful in your assignment.” The teacher says. “Enjoy the rest of your day.”

Harry glances at Niall. That’s all? No ‘class dismissed!’? It is all so informal here and it throws Harry off big time.

“C’mon Harry, lets go find Lou and the others.” Niall says.

Harry rushes to pack up his gear, wanting to be back in Louis’ presence.

Harry knows it’s a bit ridiculous, how he’s feeling already and it is just the first day of meeting the boy. But Harry is falling hard and fast and he’s scared and he knows exactly what’s happening because it has happened before.

Maybe one day he will stop the avalanche of his emotions and will be able to control them. He hopes at least.

##

Lunch is a calm affair. Harry sits next to Louis and listens to the brown haired boy talk about acting and singing and his life-long dream of becoming a stage performer. Harry admires Louis from the side, just outside the boy’s peripherals. It’s a bit embarrassing, if Harry is being completely honest. He is sure he is red the entirety of lunch, even when Liam tries to make conversation, asking about England and his old school.

Harry tries to answer, he really does. Talking to new people has just never really been his strong point though. So it doesn’t really come as a surprise to Harry when he mumbles and stutters his way through small and semi coherent sentences.

It is so kind of Liam to talk to Harry. He doesn’t need to but he does it anyway. Harry reckons he’ll like Liam.

After lunch Harry has Research project. Niall mentions that him and Harry are in different classes for this and Harry feels frozen. He’ll know no one in his class now. Who will show him where to go? Who will he ask for help if he doesn’t understand something? Who will he sit with? He will be fully alone.

While Harry is coming to this realization, he doesn’t notice the other boys leaving.

That is until-

“-To Harry…?” Louis’ voice filters past his panicked thoughts.

Harry turns o his eyes are staring directly into Louis’ own pair. The iridescent blue swirling with flashes of white and navy circling the outer edge make for the most beautiful pair of eyes Harry has ever seen. If Louis wasn’t still talking, Harry could have gotten lost in those eyes forever.

“I’ll take you to your next class, yeah? Niall’s in the other class so you’ll be on your own but I have a good friend in your class and she’ll help you if you need any help.” Louis smiles bright, showing his teeth off in the best way possible. “El has also agreed to sit next to you so you’ll have a friend. Sound good?”

“Um yeah. Thank you.” Harry mumbles. He is so glad to have met Louis.

##

Research project is a lot like Harry expected, if he is being completely honest.

He did one back in England for his English final in grade ten, preferring the written work over a power point and presentation like some of his class mates did.

The girl Louis mentioned would sit next to him, he already forgot her name, appeared just after he sat down. Harry looked up as her shadow loomed over him. Harry notes that she is wearing light blue skinny jeans, vans and a plain white t-shirt.

“Hi Harry. I hope you don’t mind. Lou asked me to help you out a bit and I’m more than happy to.” The girl grins and sits in the empty chair next to Harry. Harry tries to smile back but his facial muscles seem to be failing him today. She called him Lou. No one uses nicknames like that. Louis and this girl must be pretty close then. Harry wants to cry. What if they’re dating?

“It’s fine.” Harry mumbles. “I’m really sorry. Louis told me your name but I wasn’t listening and you already know my name so it is probably proper rude of me to ask so I’m sorry for that but – “

“Harry, it’s fine.” The unnamed girl laughs. Harry directs his eyes down. He has already made a fool of himself and he doesn’t even know this girls name. “I’m Eleanor.” Eleanor smiles again and then turns to the front of the class.

The class passes quickly, with the teacher going through everything they need to do. The first thing was to choose a topic, which was simple enough considering Harry had a small range of interests.

Eleanor seemed really sweet too. She helped Harry with organizing his notes and then after class walked him back to the study hub where he was supposed to meet Louis.

“Harry, El!” Louis’ loud voice called over the other teenagers. Harry turns to his voice, wanting to be in Louis’ presence quickly. It’s stupid but Harry kind of missed Louis for those ninety minutes they weren’t together. “How was research project? Did you decide on a topic yet?” Louis asks, his bright blue eyes staring into Harry’s own.

“Yes! I knew what I was doing months ago, Lou. You know that.” Eleanor exclaims. “I’m gonna do something on how to tell a fake Gucci bag from a real one. I ordered a fake bag ages ago but it hasn’t come in the mail yet. You’d love it, Lou. It’s blue and green with some purple and then black outlining the bag. Such a shame that it’s a fake.”

Harry focuses on the ground, silently shuffling his feet to match the patterns in the pavers. Louis isn’t paying attention to him at all but Harry refuses to feel jealous over a simple conversation Louis is having with his close friend. A friend that he has known much longer than he has known Harry.

A soft touch of something jolted Harry out of his thoughts. He looks up to find Eleanor gone and Louis with his eyebrows creased and lips pursed.

“Are you okay, Harry?” He asks softly.

Harry nods his head. Of course he’s okay. Why wouldn’t he be?

“Okay, it’s just, you were mumbling to yourself. El left about 5 minutes ago. I’ve been trying to get your attention since.”

“Oh.” Harry looks at the pavers again. He’s so stupid.

“Well, it’s home time. Do you have someone coming to get you? I can give you a ride home, if you want.” Louis offers. Blood rushes to Harry’s face. Being in Louis’ presence is one thing, but sitting directly next to him in a closed space for minutes at a time? The thought spikes a beat in Harry’s heart.

“Um, my sister is coming. Thank you, though.” Harry mumbles. Harry would honestly give anything to get in a car with Louis.

“Oh nice. I’ll wait for her with you. Will she meet you at the front office?” Louis asks as he leads Harry to his locker.

“Um, I’m not sure. Maybe? She’ll call me when she gets here.” Harry pulls his bag out and starts packing it with his things. Did he even get any homework today?

“Right. I’ll text Lucy to get the others and walk down to me from the primary school and I’ll wait with you. They’ll be another twenty minutes.”

Harry and Louis make their way to the front of the school, where there are lots of students milling around, getting on school buses and in cars, and suddenly Harry is really glad Louis wanted to wait with him.

“So, did you enjoy your day? Niall treat you alright?” Louis asked.

“Um, yeah. Niall is nice.” Harry mumbles.

“Just nice?” Louis scoffs, “Jeez, he should be treating you like a queen. Not just nice.” This makes harry blush. Like a queen. Not king. Harry likes that.

Just then Harry’s phone starts to ring, making him jump.

“Hello?” He answers, hoping to death it’s his sister. He always forgets to check the caller ID.

“Hi Haz,” He breathes a sigh of relief, “How are you?” Hattie asks.

“I’m good, and you?” Harry doesn’t know why, but he and Hattie always answer the phone like this with each other. Even if there’s an important reason for the call, Harry or Hattie always asks how the other is first.

“I’m okay.” Hattie sighs. This can’t be good. “Look Haz, I can’t come pick you up. My shift doesn’t end till 5 now and we are swamped. Are you able to find a ride home? Or go down the main street? Maybe you can check out the stores and see what’s here.”

Harry’s shoulders slump. This is great. He can’t ask anyone for a ride and he doesn’t know where the main street is. He’ll just have to google maps it. “Yeah, Hattie. I’ll do that. You’ll come get me as soon as possible, yeah?” He bites his lip. His day had really picked up until now.

Hattie confirms this with a rushed tone and says she needs to go. Harry ends the call after that and puts his phone away.

“Everything okay?” Louis asks, touching his arm softly.

“Yeah, just Hattie can’t pick me up so I’m stuck in town until she finishes work. I’ll see you tomorrow yeah?” Harry asks, hopeful. He wants to see Louis every day this school year.

He waits for Louis’ nod and then he turns to walk away in what he hopes is the right direction. But he gets all of two meters before Louis is calling his name.

“Haz! I’ll drop you home.” He says, a smile in his voice.

Harry goes to decline. That would be a hassle with Louis’ sisters too.

“Nope, I am taking you home. Come on, we can still make it to the car before the girls.” Louis takes Harry’s hand and leads him back through the school and to the student parking area.

“Harry, meet Percival.”

Percival is a small Toyota corolla hatchback, with silver paint coming off everywhere, and dirty and small. Basically, it looks old.

“He isn’t that old, I promise. Maybe a decade or so. Almost two. It’s really quite young.” Louis states with a grin.

Harry doesn’t care. Just wants to sit next to Louis, really.

Once seated in the car, Louis turns it on and starts the air conditioner.

“I really don’t know how you aren’t melting, honestly Harry. It’s almost thirty degrees outside.” Louis almost groans, putting his face in front of the vent.

Harry just shrugs and looks out the window at the other cars leaving. Supposedly he has been very hot all day, but he refuses to take off his jumper because he knows it makes his eyes stand out and he forgot to put a shirt on underneath.

“Well, anyway,” Louis says, “You are about to meet my sisters. I have five sisters and one brother all up but you’ll only meet three of them.” Louis grins. “Here they come now.”

Harry looks up from the ground and, sure enough, three girls dressed in identical blue shirts and black shorts are walking towards the car. From what Harry can see, they all have brown hair and similar face shapes to Louis.

“Okay, the girl on the left is Lily, the middle is Lyla and the left is Lucy. Lucy and Lily are twins and they wont be offended if you mix them up. Lyla might be a bit offended if you confuse her with one of the twins though so watch out there.”

“Okay,” Harry mumbles.

The door behind him opens suddenly and voices filter into the car.

“- Can’t we get ice cream?” Whines one of the smaller girls.

“Because Lou said we gotta drop off a friend and then go straight home.” Another voice, older, says.

“Lyla’s right, pumpkin. Usually I’d be all for ice cream but my friend, Harry, needs to go home and besides, Leah’s home tonight so maybe she’ll bring dessert.” Louis says apologetically.

The girls cheer at the mention of Leah and Harry watches as Louis smiles.

“Lou, who’s Harry?” One of the girls say.

“Harry, my poppet, is this lad right here.” Louis’ grinning at Harry now. “Say hi to the girls, Harry.” Louis prompts.

Harry turns to look at the girls and almost shits himself. They are all staring at him. Three pairs of blue eyes looking into his green ones, plus the extra pair of blues staring from the side.

“Um, hi.” Harry eventually mumbles.

“Hi Harry. I’m Lily. This is my twin, Lucy and my older sister Lyla.” The girl sitting behind Harry says. “It is nice to meet you.”

Harry smiles. This isn’t so bad. “Nice to meet you too, Lily. And Lucy and Lyla.”

“Right, now that introductions are done, let’s get Harry, here, home.” Louis grins, putting the car into reverse and moving out of the car park.

“So, I forgot to ask, where do you live?” Louis asks once they are on the road.

Harry mumbles off an address, quickly realizing it was wrong. He goes to tell Louis but he’s already looking at Harry strangely.

“We don’t have that street here.” Louis smirks.

“I know, I’m sorry,” Harry whispers, putting his head in his hands, “That was my old address. I’m sorry. Lemme just check my notes. I wrote the thing down somewhere.” Harry pulls his phone out, going to notes. He can’t hold his phone properly, his hands wont stop shaking. He can faintly hear Louis talking but he needs to find the address before he can listen. Needs to not be such a burden every time he tries to do anything –

“Harry!” Louis yells, cutting off every thought in Harry’s head. Harry looks to Louis, his face a little blurry from the tears forming in Harry’s eyes. “Okay, man, listen to me, yeah? Calm down. We can drive around for as long as you need to find your address, it’s okay.”

“I’m sorry.” Harry whispers.

Giggling from the backseat startles Harry. “Silly Harry,” One of the girls is saying, “You don’t need to be sorry” More giggling ensues after that and Harry feels lighter. He can properly hold onto his phone now and finds his address easily.

He tells Louis the address and sits back and watches the streets go by.

“So Harry, you never told me what you were planning to pick as your topic for research project.” Louis asks after a few seconds silence.

“Um, well I don’t know what my question will be but my topic is going to be about Eating Disorders.” Harry mumbles. He hopes Louis doesn’t ask why. He isn’t ready to reveal that part of himself yet.

“Oh. Cool.” Louis says, “Like a specific eating disorder or the topic in general?”

Harry fidgets with his hands in his lap. “Um, a-anorexia.” He says slowly. He smiles a bit to himself after he finishes speaking. That’s the first time he has said the word since it happened.

“Nice. Why Eating Disorders, though?” Louis looks at Harry then, stares right into his eyes.

“Eyes on the road, Lou!” Harry giggles a bit as Louis jumps and glances ahead, then turns his had to look at the girls.

“You two missies can’t tell me what to do!” He singsongs.

Louis turns back to the front and sighs. “Sorry Haz, continue?” He looks so hopeful that Harry cannot refuse.

“Er, well…I don’t know. Just interests me.” Harry lies. Or tries to, he realizes when he takes in Louis’ expression. Louis can see right through Harry. He knows it. Oh god he’s fucked up. Louis knows he’s lying and Harry want’s to cry so bad but he can’t because he’s in a car full of little kids and –

A hand on his shoulder startles him out of his downward spiral.

“You okay over there?” Harry turns his head to face the blue-eyed boy.

“Y-yeah.” He mumbles.

“Eating disorders is really interesting, Harry.” Louis continues as if Harry didn’t just have a small freak out. “I can totally see why you picked that topic.”

“Um, yeah. It is.” Harry mumbles more. He cannot believe he just did that. Louis probably thinks he’s a right weirdo.

“Lou, can we put music on, please?” the girl behind Harry asks.

“If you ask Harry nicely, maybe he’ll do it since I’m driving.” Louis replies.

Harry goes to say he can but Louis holds a finger up, telling him to wait.

“Harry, can you please put music on?” the same voice asks, a bit quieter this time.

Harry looks to Louis for advice but see’s him looking out the front window, smiling.

“Yeah, I can.” Harry agrees, and asks for a song choice.

Once the music was one, everyone was silent.

It was only a couple minutes later that they pulled into Harry’s driveway though.

“Right, Curly. I’m expecting to see you tomorrow so don’t flake out on me.” Louis grins as Harry prepares himself to open the door.

“I won’t. Thank you so much for driving me home. You really didn’t have to.” Harry replies. He really is very grateful for Louis driving him home. He did not want to stay in town until whenever Hattie got off from work.

“It’s really okay Harry. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He grins, “I gotta get these monsters home.”

With that, Harry steps away from the car and watches as Louis reverses out of the driveway, waving to the girls in the backseat.

Harry heads inside and decides to start on dinner for his family, telling himself he would think about Louis later.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi  
> Welcome to the second chapter !!  
> It gets intense this chapter and covers pretty heavy topic like bullying and eating disorders so please be careful and if you are not comfortable reading this sort of thing then please, please don't read it. I don't want anyone to get upset or trigger themselves because of my work.  
> So yeah, big T.W for this chatper, guys.

As the week went on, Harry had slowly grown more comfortable around Louis and his friends. He’s starting conversations with Liam and actively seeking out Niall during class and has even been down the main street with Louis once.

On the Wednesday, February 1st, Harry woke up feeling the worst he has since coming to Australia. Today is his birthday and he really, really does not like it. So he made the decision while still in bed that morning to not tell anyone about it, and just go about his day like it was an average day. Which, when he thinks about it, it kind of is. He’s only turning 17, nothing special. Of course, his mum and sister know it is his birthday, how could they not? But apart from them, Harry didn’t want anyone to know. Not even Louis.

The day was now Friday, meaning he had been going to school for a week without any drama and had yet to really panic about anything other than school work.

This, Harry’s mother deems, is an achievement and major progress from his last school.

Harry doesn’t like to think about his last school. Because it was an all-boys school, students took things like football and cricket very seriously. Not to mention being as masculine as possible complete with inappropriate pictures of girls on walls as well as loud and aggressive cheering at games.

Harry, though, was not like this. He was more interested in things like learning a musical instrument, singing along with reading and writing.

So of course, this got Harry into all sorts of trouble.

The bullying started around grade two, when the other boys in his class realized Harry didn’t play football and didn’t like cricket. It started with small things like footballs being kicked at him and cricket balls being thrown in his direction. On one occasion he was even chased with a cricket bat, the other boys thinking it was so funny he was scared of a bat.

It got worse a year later when the boys learnt that words can hurt too. Harry would stay in the classroom at recess and lunch, opting to stay away from everyone and sit and write his stories but he would only get called names like nerd, pansy and girl.

Over the years it kept getting worse and worse until eventually they were old enough to start fights. Harry would then get beat up every few days, along with being pushed in hallways, tripped in classrooms, and even worse name calling.

It was year seven when Harry decided he hated himself. He hated himself so much that he stopped looking after himself.

He stopped disinfecting his cuts from being beat up, stopped taking medication for the pain, stopped eating when he wasn’t hungry, and then eventually stopped eating all together.

His mum and sister didn’t know anything was going on. Harry used make up to hide bruises and would say he ate earlier when it was dinner. He made dinner every night just to ensure that he wouldn’t have to eat.

His family couldn’t afford much, with it being just his mum, sister and himself and both kids in school still, so Harry used the excuse of doing the cooking instead of his mum or sister, who both got home later than him, so he could skip meals in peace.

Eventually they caught onto what was happening though. A teacher had found 16 year old Harry on the ground unconscious from being beaten up and had immediately called his mum. Then once the school nurse had sent him to hospital due to his bad condition, and the nurse there had wanted to take his stats like height, weight and blood pressure, Harry had a panic attack so severe he passed out from lack of oxygen. Eventually they got him on the scale and that was also the moment Harry realized what he was doing to himself. He had honestly never weighed himself before and was just as shocked as everyone else to see he weighed as low as 94lbs. secretly it made him a bit proud that he could do that without realizing it.

His mum had a break down. She cried and cried and cried for days on end. Hattie had to step up and take care of her while Harry was being kept in the hospital under malnutrition and sever injuries that were never addressed.

This was also the time his mum decided they were moving to some place far, far away where Harry wouldn’t and couldn’t get hurt anymore.

Which brings Harry to the present, five months later.

He’s still outrageously thin, still has nightmares that things will turn bad again once people realize how girly he really is, still cooks dinner every week night but is now being forced to eat with his sister and mum, and now goes to a public, co-ed school where his mum is sure he has less chance of being bullied.

###

Three weeks into school on the Friday and Harry doesn’t remember the last time he enjoyed school so much. He still hates getting up in the morning and going to school in general but now that he doesn’t have people breathing down his neck every few hours it’s kind of alright.

Of course, it really helps that Harry now has friends, something he’s never really had before either.

Speaking of friends, Harry can see Louis pushing through the crowded locker area to get to him.

“Haz! I got in!” Louis yells, grinning madly. Some students turn their heads to look at him but they go ignored once Louis reaches Harry.

“Oh my god! Really?” Harry grinned back, “I knew you would.”

Louis had tried out for the state football team after being scouted by a director. Aussie Rules football, to be exact. Harry still doesn’t understand the rules of this game but from what he’s heard from the other boys, he knows Louis is one of the best, despite his smaller size.

Louis brings Harry in for a hug, something that is happening more and more often. Harry learnt very quickly that Louis is a physical person, meaning he is very physically affectionate and will rarely go for long without touching or poking or straight up hugging Harry. Not that Harry’s complaining, though.

The rest of the day went slowly, school having picked up and assignments starting to arise. Harry tried his best to focus in his classes but the thought of Louis going away for sport distracted him too much to do anything.

See, just before they had parted ways for homegroup, Louis had sort of suggested Harry come to his games. Harry really doesn’t want to read into things that aren’t there but right now he cannot help himself. Louis didn’t ask the other boys, only Harry.

And Harry knows this because they all looked a bit surprised when they heard Louis.

So can he really be blamed for wondering what this means?

By the end of the day, Harry had worked himself into a frenzy thinking about all the possible meanings behind what Louis had said. The two had made plans earlier to go to the café after school to get a drink since Louis’ sister was in town and could pick up the girls from their school.

“Alright, Haz, what do we want?” Louis asks once they are inside.

“Something cold, I think.” Harry says quietly. Although he is much more comfortable around Louis and the boys, it doesn’t stop him from being quiet.

Louis nods his head. “I agree. Maybe an iced coffee? Extra ice cream?”

Harry grins. Louis knows him almost too well. “Exactly.”

They order their drinks to go and seat themselves in the small lounge area, a comfortable silence taking over as they listen to the other customers discuss their lives.

Harry loves just sitting with Louis. It’s almost never awkward and if it is, Louis always thinks of a way to break the silence and get conversation flowing.

Not long later the server called their drinks and the boys were off to Mundulla.

“I think my favourite part about an iced coffee is definitely the chocolate drizzled on top.” Louis comments, using his straw to eat some of the chocolate. “Yeah, it is pretty good.” Harry agrees.

**Louis Pov**

They end up at the oval, a big green field shaped like an oval with a metal fence a meter high circling the boundary. Across a car path, there’s a playground that is officially called the adventure playground. There’s a really tall slide, possibly 50 meters high, with wooden steps leading all the way to the top and a swing set right next to it. There’s a rope and pillar climbing thing with a spiders web, rope handles for swinging, an area to sit on top and below and a knot of ropes to form a triangle.

Louis decides the best place for them to sit is up the slide, so he leads Harry up the wooden steps and into the cubby. It’s a small space, big enough for three people to sit comfortably without being cramped. Louis took his place on the entry way to the slide while Harry chose to sit at the other end of the cubby on a small log, pulling his legs to his chest.

Louis busies himself with slurping on his drink, watching as Harry fumbles with his own drink a bit before taking small sips. Everything about Harry seemed small, apart from his height. Everything from his small wrists to his thin legs to the small smile he gets.

Louis thinks back to the start of the day, and the question he basically sprung on Harry with no warning. He wonders what Harry is thinking about the offer. Does Harry even want to go? They’ve only known each other for 2 weeks and Harry hasn’t even seen him play a game of footy yet.

Before Louis can really think about it, words are already pouring out of his mouth.

“So, about what I said this morning.” Dammit he’s mumbling. This is a great start. He can see Harry lean closer, probably so he can actually here what he is saying. “About you coming to my state footy games.” Louis tries to speak louder, he really does.

Louis risks a glance at Harry and sees his cheeks reddening. Louis takes this as Harry knows exactly what Louis is talking about.

“I was being completely legit when I asked. I do want you there.” Louis says earnestly, looking Harry in the eye and leaning forward himself. “But only if you want to go. It’s not for another couple months but I thought I’d extend the offer now, in case I forgot.” And oh god some one stop his rambling please.

What the heck will Harry say, though? What if he doesn’t want to go? What if he’s heard some bad things and has decided he really doesn’t want to?

“I’d love to go Louis.” He barely hears Harry whisper. A smile takes over Louis’ face.

“Really?” He asks.

“Really really.” Harry says, louder than before.

“Okay, cool. Let’s hope I don’t disappoint then.” Louis smiles and continues to slurp on his iced coffee.

Now that that was settled and Harry has agreed to come, Louis can almost relax completely

. Louis ends up asking harry how his classes are going and if he likes his grade. Harry supplies answers but Louis can tell he doesn’t want to talk about school so he asks a different question. In all honest he had been meaning to ask it for a while now but never found a chance.

“So, Harry. Why did you move to Australia? Like it’s a pretty huge move. I know it was for me and my family when we moved.” Louis asks, trying his best to sound casual. Immediately his try for casual is gone, though, as he sees Harry tense up. That was not what Louis expected at all.

“Um, well. The thing is…” Louis can see the hesitation in Harry’s eyes. He almost tells Harry to stop. The memory he’s thinking of must be painful and Louis doesn’t want Harry to think about painful stuff. “Well I used to be bullied, back in England.” Louis straightens his back. Bullied? Harry? No, surely not. “A-and it got to a point where it was physical. Too physical.” When Harry stops talking, Louis notices him glance up, almost scared. And that is not right at all. Harry should never be scared, let alone of Louis.

Louis can pinpoint the exact moment Harry starts to crack. Louis watches as the boy in front of him pulls himself tighter together as if keeping himself from breaking and his eyes go glassy, making the green shine a bright emerald.

Louis watches as Harry takes a deep breath. “I, um. I ended up in hospital with some broken ribs and a concussion. And they noticed some things weren’t right. With me. Physically.” There was a small pause and Louis almost cries. What does Harry mean ‘not right physically’?

“I was diagnosed with A-Anorexia Nervosa and was kept in a hospital for 8 weeks. Mum decided that we needed to get away so she chose the furthest place possible. Australia. Mum knows some people down this way so she figured why not move close to them.”

Louis can feel his heart breaking. No one should have hurt such a wonderful boy like Harry. Louis can feel his own eyes watering, watching as Harry unsuccessfully tries wipes away his tears.

“People keep asking what England was like. I tell them it’s great. The people are kind, the schools are fun. But it’s all a *lie. It was horrible. I hated waking up. Hated school. I very seriously considered killing myself more than once. Almost did before I remembered my mum and sister. I couldn’t do that to them.” That does it to Louis. Quick as lightning he is by Harry side, wrapping his arms around Harry and holding him tightly, afraid that if he let go harry would break even more.

Louis can’t believe such a sweet boy could ever feel so bad that he would want to die. Louis feels his own tears start to fall, dropping into Harry’s hair. He doesn’t think Harry notices, too busy trying to calm himself down.

They stay like that for a while, Louis holding Harry together as he lets it all out.

Eventually Harry speaks up again, surprising Louis.

“Things are so much better here. I’m on a strict diet now, three meals a day with one definite snack and one optional snack. I hate it but it killed me to see mums face when the doctors told her everything.” Harry paused, breathing deeply. Louis wishes Harry never had to go through that. “You make it better. School is amazing here, because of you. The other day was the first time in months that I actually wanted to wake up. Because I knew I would see you at school and you would make me laugh.” Harry practically whispers. “You would tell some dumb joke that would just brighten my day. So, thank you.”

Louis feels himself breaking down even more, letting a few quiet hiccoughs out. “Oh Harry,” He whispers through his tears. “I am so sorry that happen to you. And I am so grateful you’re here. Truth be told, you make my day better too. You’re too good to have gone through such terrible things. You’re perfect, don’t ever let anyone tell you you’re less than.” Louis thought for a moment. Harry probably doesn’t want to be alone right now, and Louis wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving him alone with the state he is in, so Louis makes a suggestion. “Would you maybe want to come over to mine tonight? Stay the night even?” Louis really wants to make Harry feel better, even if it’s with cheesy movies and chocolate, at least he’ll be doing something.

Louis can feel Harry’s face heat up from where it’s resting so close to his neck, can feel the head radiating from his cheeks. “I’d love that.” Louis feels more than hears harry mumble, the vibrations running through his body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Tell what you thought of it, please?  
> THis took forever to get out because i am having so much trouble writing what happens next.  
> Inspiration better hit soon or i might cry  
> (jokes i do that anyway)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo im dealing with some shit currently and am ignoring it so I'll update this

Harry’s Pov

The drive to Louis’ house was almost silent. They went to Harry’s house to get him some clothes and then started the drive to Louis’. During this drive, Harry called his mum and told him what was happening and said that he would explain more when he got home the next day. He also apologized for not cooking dinner like he normally does but his mum shushed him and told him to have fun.

After the phone call, Harry just kind of sat in silence, watching as the land passed through the window. There were a lot of paddocks around this area, dodgy-looking fencing lining the road, creating for a trapped sense.

As they got into town, Harry took slight note of where they were going, which roads they were turning down and which part of town they were in.

Louis pulls into, what Harry assumes to be, his driveway and stops the car.

“Okay, so the girls are home but I’ll try to keep them calm. They’ll probably get excited.” Louis mentions before opening his door.

“That’s okay.” Harry mumbles, following closely behind.

Louis’ house is big, is Harry’s first impression. It’s a one story made from a light brown brick with huge windows. There was no garden out the front apart from some grass and there was a post box by the road.

“I always forget the house key so we’ll have to go round the back,” Louis says as he leads Harry through a tall gate and to a door. “The girls will probably be in the lounge with Leah and mum’s not home yet. We’ll be entering through the kitchen so hopefully we can get through without talking to anyone.”

Harry just nods he head, unsure of what he should say.

Harry had already met the girls once before, but not Leah. From what Louis had told Harry, Leah was older than him and is on her second gap year, still saving for University.

Louis ushered Harry through the door and into a hallway, pushing him quickly passed an open doorway.

Harry glances through the doorway, seeing Louis’ little sisters and an older girl sitting on the couch watching what Harry assumes to be a movie.

“C’mon, Haz.” Louis whispers as he pushes Harry gently.

They are halfway done the hall when Harry stumbles and hits the wall, a dull thud resounding through the passage.

“Lou? Is that you?” a voice calls out almost immediately.

“Uh, yeah Leah! I’m just going to my room.” Louis calls back as Harry stays frozen to the spot, his arm still resting on the wall.

Louis gently takes Harry’s arm and leads him the rest of the way to the room. As soon as they are safely inside the room with the door closed, Louis relaxes and lets go of Harry.

“Right, we’re good.” Harry hears Louis say but he can hardly pay attention with the raging sadness cursing through him.

He stays silent, opting to look at his feet instead of Louis. His stupid feet. He almost screwed everything up because of them. Why can’t they work properly? Why does every other step involve a miss-step or a trip?

“Hey, hey, hey, what’s wrong?” Louis’ voice breaks Harry from his destructive thoughts. Harry feels himself being pulled in a direction he can’t be bothered to know.

“C’mon, lay down, Haz,” Harry hears right by his ear. “A cuddle helps sometimes, yeah?”

They end up on the bed after a bit of coaxing from Louis. Harry’s cuddled into Louis’ chest, laying on top of him even after multiple protests.

Once Harry’s stopped sniffling, Louis asks what’s wrong.

“I-I…” Harry tries to get it out. “My feet are stupid.” Is what he ends up mumbling into Louis’ shirt.

“Why are your feet stupid?” Louis asks, and Harry can hear the confusion, can tell how weird Louis thinks he is. This is not going well.

“Because I tripped. And almost screwed up everything.” The mumbling is getting worse. Harry hides his face further into Louis’ chest, talking really quietly.

“Hey now, you didn’t. I wouldn’t have been mad or disappointed if Leah and the girls knew we were here. I just didn’t want you to feel overwhelmed with how loud the girls can get.” Louis explains quietly.

Harry stays silent. He knows he can’t defend himself to that.

The boys eventually fall asleep, too comfortable cuddled together on Louis’ bed, listening to each other breathe.

**Louis’ POV.**

Louis wakes up a couple hours later to someone gently shaking his shoulder. He tries to move but something was holding him down, keeping him in place. He opens his eyes to a mop of curly hair covering most of his face and he remembers everything.

Harry. Tears. Traumatic events. Cuddling. The lot.

Louis then looks to what was shaking his shoulder and see’s his mum.

Louis internally groans. This is going to be real interesting.

Louis’ mum is a calm and sophisticated woman, the complete opposite of Louis. She works as a registered nurse at the local hospital and likes to know everything that is going on in her children’s lives.

So it is safe to say that Louis in downright terrified right now because he hasn’t told his mum anything about Harry.

He can see the look his mum is giving him, one intense ‘follow me right now’ scary eye.

So, being the good son he is, gently moves Harry’s sleeping body from his, and goes to follow his mum after watching the boy shuffle and curl into himself to get comfortable.

Sitting at the kitchen table facing his mum, Louis is suddenly very nervous.

“Okay, Louis.” She starts. “I know you’re almost eighteen, and you have the ability to do what you want most of the time, but bringing boys home without my knowledge? Much less a boy I don’t recognize?” She shook her head. “You better have a good explanation, Louis. There are young girls in this house and they don’t need their older brother bringing people home all the time.”

Louis’ shoulder slump. Right.

“Well, you should probably know that he’s new to town. Um, moved here just before school started. Year eleven. Names Harry Styles. Um. Yeah.”

“Okay, but what does that have to do with him being in your bed asleep with you?”

“I showed him around on the first day. He’s English, mum. He didn’t understand a lot so the teachers figured another person who was once in the same position as him could help him out. And now we’re really close. So close in fact that he told me why he moved, just today actually, and it was rough, mum. It was so rough and I don’t think he should be alone while basically reliving what happened in his head and so I said he could sleep over so that I can keep an eye on him and make sure he doesn’t try to hurt himself. I promise nothing happened, it didn’t even cross my mind honestly, I was just dead-set on making sure he’s okay.” Louis takes a deep breath. He rambled. His mum absolutely hates it when he rambles.

He watches as his mum stays silent, processing everything he just said.

“Okay, so why didn’t you call or even text that he was coming over? And is he okay now? Do I need to talk to him?”

Louis shrugs. He honestly doesn’t know. “I guess I was too caught up in making sure he was okay and felt safe. He can stay right? I really don’t want him to be alone and I figured it would be better for him to stay here than me stay at his. And yes he’s more or less okay, just exhausted. Took a lot out of him to talk about it.”

“Can I ask what happened?” Alice asks, concern covering her features.

“Really, really severe bullying. Like ending up in hospital for a few weeks severe. His mum wanted to get him away and somewhere safe and he mentioned she knew people here and from what she had heard we are a good and small community. I’m determined to make this town as safe as I possibly can for him.” Louis whispers the last part. He doesn’t know why he whispered it, the girls weren’t close enough to hear the conversation and his mum wasn’t that close.

“Okay. He can stay but just for tonight. And you both are to have dinner with the family, and I want to meet him. Properly.” Alice decides, smiling slightly. She knows her son is a good person, she just didn’t realize how good.

“Thank you so much, mum.” Louis stands up and hugs his mum. He doesn’t know what he would have done if she had said Harry couldn’t stay over.

On his way back to his bedroom, Louis is stopped by Leah.

“What was that about?” Leah asks, concern embedded in her features.

“I, er. I have a friend over. The thud you heard before was him tripping over.” Louis smiles softly as he sees the cogs turns in his older sister’s brain. “You’ll meet him at dinner. I think he’s asleep right now.”

With that, Louis enters his room, closing the door softly.

From the looks of it, Louis is right. Harry is still asleep, curled around himself with the duvet scrunched gently in his hands. Louis can’t help but coo at the sleeping boy. His features soft and clear of any distress, his hair framing his face perfectly, he looks like a princess.

Louis thinks he has never seen anything more beautiful.

**Harrys pov**

Sleep for Harry has always been something nice. He loves the feeling of being tired, loves the moments just before sleep when his head is cloudy with lovely things, and his eyes are drooping closed. He limbs are heavy and his breathing easy. It’s a great escape from everything for a few hours. A time where he doesn’t have to think about anything and can just exist in his own world where he can be anyone he wants to be.

Admittedly, he doesn’t like falling asleep with anyone. He prefers to do that one his own where no one can mess with him or judge him.

Which is why, when Harry wakes up in Louis’ bedroom, he’s confused and a little bit weary. He can see Louis sitting at his desk, back to Harry and head bent down as if concentrating.

He watches as Louis’ back straightens, watches as Louis stretches his arms above his head, angling them backwards and letting out a small groan.

“Louis! Tea time!” Harry jumps as the loud yell ricochets down the hall and into the small bedroom.

Louis turns around and looks straight at Harry and his eyes widen.

“Oh, you’re awake.” Louis states. “How long have you been awake for?”

Harry tries his best to make eye contact. “Um, maybe five minutes?”

“Oh good, mums yell didn’t scare you awake then.” Louis nods to himself once, then goes and sits on the bed next to Harry. “You okay with eating with everyone? I can make an excuse for us to eat in our room, if you want.”

The suggestion warms Harry’s heart. He didn’t expect Louis to be so considerate. “Uh, no, I should be fine. As long as it doesn’t have marshmallows.” Dammit. Why on earth did Harry say that? Where has his brain to mouth filter gone?

“Marshmallows?” Louis asks, confusion lacing his voice.

Harry scowls. “I don’t know why I said that. I’m allergic to marshmallows, is all.”

“Oh, okay.” Louis chuckled. “So I guess you’ve never played the chubby bunny challenge then?”

“Er, no.” Harry glances at his hands, twisting them together to form knots.

“Anyway, tea is ready so we should go out there before mum comes barging in with a fry-pan of hot food.” Louis grins and stand up from his desk.

Harry follows suit and lets himself be led out of the bedroom to the kitchen where the rest of Louis’ family is sitting around a table.

“Oh good, you’ve joined us finally.” Louis mum comments as they enter the room. “The food is on the table so take a seat and help yourself, Harry. Lovely to meet you by the way.”

Harry stares at the food in the bowls on the table. There is so much. What even is it all?

He glances at Louis and he must have seen something in his face because he takes Harrys hand and gently leads him to the table, pulling out a chair for him next to the older blonde.

The table is a bit chaotic and loud, hands flying everywhere, grabbing this, taking that. Harry is very overwhelmed. He glances at Louis, silently asking what to do and hoping Louis understands.

It’s a miracle when Louis glances back at Harry and an understanding shine takes over his eyes.

He gestures to the plate sitting in front of Harry. “What do you want, love?”

Harry shrugs. “Whatever you have, I guess.”

Louis nods and starts plating his food. Harry notices that Louis gives him slightly smaller portions, ending up with about three quarters of what Louis has.

Which is completely okay with Harry because Louis has piled his plate with lots of food already.

Once the food had been served and the girls had settled down, Alice looks to Harry.

“So Harry,” Alice starts to say, a small smile forming, “How do you like Australia so far?”

“It’s, er, it’s good. A lot different to um, to England. Better.” Harry mumbles, pushing his food around his plate.

“I’m glad you like it here. England is a very different country to Australia. Same form of Government but different culture and types of people.” Alice comments as she continues eating, every now and then helping the younger of the girls to cut their food. Harry watched as Alice smiled to herself, as if reliving a memory. “Where, exactly, did you live?”

“A little town named Holmes Chapel. Below Manchester and near Chesire.” Harry says, slowly eating his food. Harry knew he shouldn’t be eating slowly, it would trick his brain into thinking he was full and he would then not want to eat. But he needs to eat. Needs to get better for his mum and sister.

“That sounds lovely! I’ve never been to Chesire but from what I have seen of Manchester, it is a nice place.” Alice grins. The conversation dies down a bit as everyone focuses on eating.

Once dinner is finished, Louis takes Harry’s hand. “Well, we might head back to my bedroom, if it’s alright, mum?” He asks quietly, already heading in the direction of his bedroom.

“Sure, but you’re cooking dinner tomorrow night.” Alice says.

The two boys make their way back to Louis’ bedroom.

“Sorry about my family.” Louis mumbles slightly, ruffling his hair a bit.

He’s stood in the corner of the room, half leant against the desk with one foot on his desk chair while Harry takes a seat on his bed.

“They weren’t that bad, honestly.” Harry grins. It isn’t even a lie.

“Weren’t that bad? Harry, my mum was so nosy!” Louis exclaims.

Harry shakes his head and smiles, “No, she really wasn’t, Louis. She was just doing what any other normal mother would do if there was a strange boy in her house. Ask questions.”

Harry watches as Louis pushes himself off the desk, walking towards Harry a small smile. “You are too forgiving, young Harold.” He says softly once he’s mere inches from Harry’s face, looking directly into what Harry feels like is his soul.

“I don’t think what I am is forgiving, more just understanding. Y’know?” Harry whispers back, looking up and into Louis’ eyes, bearing himself for Louis to look at.

They stare for a moment, eyes connecting for a long second or two that feel like eternity to Harry. He could honestly admire Louis’ eyes all day, they are so pretty and shimmering with emotions both on the surface and deeper, as if the eyes are hiding something.

Louis is suddenly clearing is throat and blinking rapidly, which startles Harry out of his gazing.

They sit in silence for a second, the atmosphere growing awkward quickly.

“Do you, er, do you wanna watch a movie?” Harry almost misses it, he’s still a bit dazed.

“I…I guess so.” He mumbles.

Louis gets his laptop and brings up Netflix.

“What do you wanna watch?” Louis asks, scrolling through the endless movie selection.

“Whatever you want.” Harry mumbles, moving backwards to rest his back against the bed head. “I don’t really mind.”

“Nope, that’s not an acceptable answer,” Louis grins. “Tell me what genre you like best and we’ll go from there.”

Harry takes a moment to think. He doesn’t watch movies a lot so he doesn’t really know what genre he likes.

“I honestly don’t know, Louis.” Harry thinks for a moment. “Should we just search romantic comedies on Netflix and then see what we find?”

“Ah, so you’re a romantic comedy kind of guy then?” The clicking of the keyboard sounds throughout the room as Harry blushes.

“Uh, um. I guess? I dunno. I don’t watch movies.” Harry looks anywhere but Louis.

Suddenly, there is a warmth next to Harry and he looks and finds Louis sitting next to him. “I haven’t watched a rom com in a long time so whatever one is fine.” Louis says as he turns the laptop screen towards Harry.

Harry looks over the options and a few titles stand out immediately. But one in particular catches Harry’s eye. “How about Titanic?”

Louis reads the description and nods. “Yeah, okay. Let’s watch that.”

Louis hands Harry the laptop and gets up. He gets the desk chair from his desk and places it so it is next to the bed. Then he takes the Laptop out of Harrys hands and sits it on the seat, angling it so that the screen is visible from where Harry is sitting. Then he is crawling over the bed and back to Harry, maneuvering himself to sit on the other side of Harry.

“Can you see alright, love?” Louis asks. Harry just nods and settles back into the bedhead and cushions, making sure Louis can see the screen from where he is sitting, which is virtually behind Harry given the position of the laptop.

The movie starts and Harry feels Louis move to get comfortable, leaning more into Harry as he does so.

Twenty minutes in and Harry is already starting to get sleepy. He checks his phone for the time and see’s that it is only seven-thirty. He moves to get comfier and accidentally bumps Louis arm. Harry freezes immediately and holds his breath.

“You alright, Harry?” Louis basically whispers, clearly noticing Harry moving. Harry turns his head slowly and looks at Louis. He looks slightly concerned but mostly is calm.

“Yeah.” He whispers, glad to see no trace of annoyance in Louis eyes.

“C’mere, love.” Louis holds himself up on one elbow and uses his other arm to pull Harry closer to him, crossing his arm across Harry’s waist. Harry turns himself slightly to lay on his side so he can still see the movie screen. Then Harry realizes what he just did. He moved himself into the perfect position for Louis to spoon him from behind. He can feel Louis move up behind him, leaving his arm wrapped slightly around his waist, basically fully spooning him now. Harry has never been in this situation before so he has no idea what to do.

“Is this okay, Harry?” Louis whispers directly into Harry’s ear, sending a shiver down his spine at how close he is. Feeling brave for once in his life, Harry shuffles back so he is against Louis’ chest.

“Yeah, Lou.” He mumbles, trying to keep his voice down. The atmosphere was cozy and soft and Harry did not want to ruin that.

Harry feels Louis scrunch his hand into Harry’s shirt, bunching the fabric up and tightening his hold on Harry.

The movie continues playing and Harry tries to focus on the current scene, he really does, but Louis’ hand scrunching up his shirt is really, really distracting.

They lay there in silence for what feels like forever but is probably only about 20 or 30 minutes, watching the movie as it plays. Then Louis moves.

“Hey, do you want some water?” Louis asks quietly, leaning close enough to Harry’s ear that he can feel Louis’ breath.

“Um, yeah, if you’re getting some.” Harry answers, just as quietly.

Louis then moves, leaning over Harry and reaching for the laptop to pause the movie.

Louis’ hand never makes it to the laptop, though, because as Harry turns his head, Louis looks down. Somehow, their lips brush, just a breath of touch that leaves tingles in its wake. Harry feels rather than hears Louis breathe out sharply, the warm breath fanning over Harry’s cheeks, and he gasps softly.

While Harry freezes, Louis pulls back an inch. Three long seconds pass before Louis is moving again, leaning back in and pressing his lips to Harry’s, properly this time. The only thing Harry can think is that kissing isn’t like the movies. There are no fireworks, no sparks. Instead, intense burning sears through Harry, want and heat mixing in the pit of his stomach.

Their lips move together, the pressure intensifying as it continues. Harry opens his mouth when he feels Louis run his tongue along the seam of his lips, letting Louis take the lead and invading his mouth with the slide of his tongue.

Harry feels a hand on his cheek, just resting there. Not doing anything. Harry leans into the touch slightly, showing Louis he likes the feeling.

The kiss turns heated quickly. Harry decides in a spur of the moment decision to turn his body and lay on his back. Somehow he accomplishes this without breaking the kiss. This forces Louis to lean over Harry, deepening the kiss even more.

Harry isn’t aware of time anymore, or temperature, or anything but Louis, really. All he can focus on is Louis and his mouth, the way his tongue slides against Harry’s own, the way Louis moves slowly, but surely, so that he is lying almost on top of Harry. Then the knee between his legs, pushing them slightly apart to make room for Louis.

This causes new sensations, new body parts brushing that cause intense pleasure and burning. A want so strong that Harry moans.

Suddenly it all stops. The weight and warmth of Louis is gone and the intense pressure subsides slightly. Harry slowly opens his eyes, unaware as to when he closed them in the first place.

As his eyes adjust to the dark room, Harry forces himself to take deep breaths. It takes exactly one second for what just happened to sink in and then Harry is glancing wildly around the room, looking for the culprit that put him in this state.

Harry’s eyes connect with the electric blue’s across the room. He, too, is breathing heavily, panic evident in his eyes.

_Oh fuck._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and I hope you actually enjoy reading this


	4. Chapter 4

**Louis’ POV**

Fuck. What has he just done? He kissed Harry. That’s what he did. This is bad. Very, very bad. He told himself he wouldn’t let feelings get in the way of the friendship. So of course, at the first chance he gets, he goes and screws it up.

Louis watches Harry with wide eyes, keeping his distance.

“Oh god, Harry.” He whispers, guilty and ashamed of his actions. “You…you’re vulnerable right now. God, I can’t believe I did that. I don’t want to take advantage of you. You’re only a child. I’m so sorry.” Louis truly is sorry. He shouldn’t be taking advantage of someone so young. That’s basically statutory rape! Louis is eighteen after all. He’s an adult. Legally. Harry is literally still a child. Two whole years younger than Louis is. That is so wrong.

The panic fully sets in and Louis needs an escape. The water! Louis will go and get the water. But what if Harry wants to leave now. Oh god what if Louis’ mum heard everything? What about the girls?

Louis decides then that he is a horrible person and an even more horrible brother.

Louis concentrates back on Harry to take in his reaction. Shocking Louis completely, Harry looks to be close to tears. Great, Louis also upset the poor boy.

“Harry, please don’t cry.” He says, quickly moving over to take the boy in his arms.

He feels Harry slightly relax, but not completely. He mumbles something but Louis doesn’t hear him.

“Sorry, love, but can you repeat that please?” He asks quietly, trying extra hard not to startle him.

“I said,” Harry clears his throat, “’m not a child.”

Louis pauses, confused. “How…How old are you, then?”

“’m sixteen…” Louis’ eyes widen. Oh. It’s not much better, Harry is still a minor, he’s over the age of consent at least. And hold on, when did Harry turn sixteen? Was he sixteen before school started? Has he been sixteen this entire time and Louis just didn’t know it?

“When’s your birthday? Louis asks, grateful for the new distraction. If he can get Harry talking about a different topic, then he wont be as upset.

“Um, February first. Nobody knows, though.”

“Harold! That was in the first week, how did we miss that?” Louis exclaims.

“It was honestly just an average day, Louis. It bears no meaning to me anymore. It’s just another year on my life. Mum and Hattie made a cake but I honestly didn’t want anyone to know.” Harry looks crestfallen now. “please, don’t be offended, Louis. I promise I’ll let you know next year. I just didn’t want the attention that comes with people knowing it was my birthday.”

Louis grins. “You better tell me next year, Harry,”

Louis is relieved that things aren’t awkward after what just happened. Harry’s still giggling and playing along with the teasing so he can’t have regret it too much.

“Alright, I’m gonna go and get the water now. Do you still want some?” Louis asked.

“Yes please, Louis.” Harry giggles.

Louis leaves the room and enters the kitchen. He’s surprised to see his mum there with a cup of tea and reading the newspaper.

He silently gets two glasses of water, trying to not disturb his mother.

“Louis, dear, could you sit with me a moment?” He hears as he goes to leave the room.

“Yeah, mum, course.” Louis sits the two glasses down on the table and takes a seat across from her. “What’s up?”

“I did some googling and I came across news from Manchester last year. Does Harry know he was front page headlines for about a week? What happened was so big that it was all Manchester could talk about for ages.” Alice says this all with a frown.

Louis is appalled. How could his mum be so nosy?

“Mum, what the fuck?” Louis is beyond angry.

“Language, Louis.” His mum cuts Louis off with her sharp tongue.

“No! That’s Harry’s private shi – stuff that you have just invaded majorly,” Louis breathed deeply, “I cannot believe you did that, mum.”

“I don’t see the issue here, Louis. I was just doing some googling and I just happened to come across Manchester news!” Alice exclaims. “You need to change your tone right now, mister.”

“Fine, just do not bring it up with Harry. He doesn’t need to be reminded of it again.” Louis is positively seething. Never before has he been this mad at his own mother.

Louis quickly stands and takes the glasses, making an exit before his mum can utter another word.

**Harry’s POV**

Harry watches Louis leave the bedroom in a near state of shock. What even was that? Is it going to be awkward now? Did Harry just ruin everything?

Oh no, what if Louis doesn’t want that? What if he tells his mum? Will Harry be sent home? Will he need to find another group of friends?

Thoughts are racing through Harry’s mind, too fast for him to keep up. Harry thinks back to what Louis said after the Incident, as Harry is now calling it. _You’re vulnerable right now…I don’t want to take advantage of you._ Harry’s the one who turned his head, Harry’s the one who initiated the whole thing in the first place. Why is Louis scared of taking advantage? He didn’t do anything Harry didn’t want. If anyone should be sorry, it’s Harry. And he is sorry. So very sorry he can’t even describe how he’s feeling.

The sound of the door closing unceremoniously drags Harry from his cloudy thoughts. He tries his best to focus his eyes on the causation of the sound but regrets his efforts almost immediately.

Louis is standing at the door, a glass of water in each hand, red cheeked and silent anger clouding the cerulean rings in his eyes.

Fear strikes through Harry. Did he fuck up that badly? Does Louis hate him now? Oh god, Louis probably isn’t even gay. And even if he is gay, why would Louis ever want to be with someone like Harry? Someone so stupid and uncoordinated and worthless in all ways possible?

Harry unconsciously inches himself backwards on the bed, until his back is almost touching the wall. His heart is racing in the worst way possible, blood rushing through his eardrums, drowning out all sounds except the static white-noise.

What scares him most, though, is that even in this moment, fear cursing through his very soul at even the thought of angering Louis, the boy is still utterly beautiful and Harry can’t bring himself to look away, even if every instinct in his body is telling him to avert his eyes, to not stare, to submit and look down. He just continues looking at Louis, taking in the shape of his jawline, the messy chestnut hair resting softly just beneath his hairline, the sharp cheek bones that could cut paper, the blue eyes, angry as they are, boring into Harry’s own pair, as Harry comes to realise. Another realization is that the anger has subsided, making way for a concerned cloud to swim over the anger, extinguishing the flame in one fluid movement.

Louis is suddenly moving, closer and closer until he is right in front of Harry. Then suddenly all Harry’s senses return at once. He can feel the tension in his body, fists clenched in the bed covers as though hanging on for his life. He’s wheezing, even he can hear it, loud and harsh and annoying, he’s sure. The white-noise disappears as fast as it started, the rushing blooding heading another direction. Sound registers once more and his assaulted by Louis’ voice, calm and soft but firm and insistent at the same time.

“…’arry, Harry, can you hear me? Please come back to me. Breathe, Harry.” Louis’ saying. Harry can’t concentrate on breathing at the moment though. He’s more focused on the hand cradling his chin, pretty much holding his head up at this point. “Harry, come on. Don’t want you passing out, yeah? Breathe, focus on my voice and breathe.”

Little does Louis know, though, focusing on his voice is possible the worst thing for Harry to do. It sets it all off again, reminding him that Louis was angry a few moment ago, seething with unbridled emotion that could very well be and probably is directed at Harry and Harry alone.

Suddenly Harry is trapped, restricted completely in any and all movement except his lower legs. A heavy weight pushing his down and onto the bed. Arms are wrapped around his body, he realizes, tightening their hold with every stunted breath he takes, like a boa constrictor taking its prey. Strangely, this doesn’t insert any fear into Harry. Instead, it enables him to think at least a little. His cloudy and grey thoughts making way for one silver lining. It’s so ludicrous that Harry wants to laugh. He can’t. Of course he can’t, he can barely breathe! But the bubble of laughter still somehow inserts itself into his mind. Between the panicked thoughts of anger-filled Louis and the somewhat peaceful thought of the boa constrictor wrapped around him, holding him together figuratively, Harry can identify the want and need to laugh.

There’s another rushing sound, but unlike last time, it’s not blood in his eardrums, but instead air, in huge gulps, entering his windpipe and lungs. Gasping like a fish out of water, Harry greedily inhales, the oxygen feeling so good in his dry throat, relieving him of the pressure in his chest, the bump in his throat.

The arms are still wrapped around him, tighter since he last focused on them. Harry’s grateful for this. They are holding him together now. Keeping him from bursting out of his own body, holding him down and allowing his body to catch up with his mind. Or his mind to slow down for his body. He can’t be sure at this moment.

He opens his eyes, focusing on the ceiling above him. Deciphering his thoughts gets harder and harder after each panic attack. You’d think it got easier with more practice but so far so not true.

“Harry?” Louis whisper pulls Harry from his troubled thoughts. “Are you with me?”

“Y-yeah.” Harry barely whispers back. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-”

“No, Harry. Please don’t apologize for having a panic attack.” Louis cuts him off mid-sentence. “You are not at fault here. If anyone is, it’s me. I shouldn’t have taken advantage of you like that. But we can talk about that in the morning, okay?” Harry nods silently. He’s at fault for the kiss, and he knows it. But he doesn’t want to argue now. Not when he’s so tired. “Get some sleep, love. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Harry drifts off like that, held together by the beautiful boy who blames himself. The tragedy is the last thought on Harrys mind.

###

They don’t talk about it in the morning.

Instead, Louis gets Harry up and they make breakfast together, eggs and bacon on toast, minus the bacon for Harry. He doesn’t feel like he can keep something so greasy and fatty down this morning. Louis, thankfully, understands and doesn’t force Harry to eat the bacon. He does, however, make Harry eat a banana though to meet his breakfast criteria.

Louis’ mum had gone to work early and Leah had taken the girls to the park so it was just Louis and Harry left alone to entertain themselves.

After everything was finished (mostly by Louis) and the dishes were done (mostly by Harry), Harry suggested they put on a movie in the lounge room, purposefully sitting at the other end of the couch to Louis.

The day flew by pretty quickly after that. Harry and Louis both acting like nothing had happened the night before. That morning, Louis had acted completely normal about it so Harry took that as a sign that he should also act normal about it.

Normal isn’t usually in Harry’s vocabulary and is not something he does well so the need to act normal is even more important because he needed to convince Louis not to leave him.

They watched movie after movie together, laughing and cracking jokes and not really talking about anything serious.

By the time it was four in the afternoon, Leah had arrived home with the girls.

“Hi, boys. Glad to see the house isn’t a disaster.” Leah greets as she walks into the lunge room, the little toddlers following while the other twins went to their bedroom.

“Harry’s responsible so there was no chance of getting up to anything bad.” Louis laughs, not fully recovered from the latest joke Harry had made about the horses in the movie.

“Well, mum will be impressed.” Leah grins. “She’ll be home in about an hour and a half so you might want to get Harry here home.”

Harry watches as the siblings throw banter back and forth for a moment, then refocusing his attention on the movie still playing. It’s their third movie, one called Flicker. Harry really likes it but he could tell Louis was getting a little bored. Harry suspects he’s the type that needs to get out and do things, too much energy bottled up and going nowhere.

A tap on Harry’s shoulder removes his attention from the tv, and drags it to Louis, now sitting directly next to him.

Louis grins at Harry, “Do you like the movie, Harold?” He asks, blue eyes twinkling.

“Um, yeah. It’s such a sad movie with a happy ending.” Harry supplies, blinking slowly. He checks the time on his phone. “I should probably be going home. Um, mum needs me to help with dinner soon.” Harry mumbles, casting his eyes downwards.

“Oh, uh, yeah. Yeah I probably should get you home.” Louis startles a bit, making Harry smile. “Well, c’mon then. Let’s go pack your bag.”

Harry gathers his things quickly, not wanting to take up anymore of Louis’ time than he already has.

“Thank you,” Harry says when they are in the car, “For last night and today.”

“I’d do that for you any day, Haz. I’m so sorry you had to go through anything like that, you didn’t deserve that at all.” Louis shoots back,

………

Once Dinner has been made, Harry doesn’t know what to do with himself. All he can think about is the kiss, and the way it felt, and the new sensations that crept into his body like a match lighting up, fast, instantaneous and hot.

He thinks about how Louis was hovering over him, the want to completely submit and give everything to the older boy in one specific way cursing through his veins in that moment, the need to see the approval and reciprocated want on Louis’ face. Then a thought flashes through his mind. Louis had pulled back so quickly. Louis probably didn’t even want Harry like that. Who is Harry kidding? Of course Louis doesn’t want him like that. Harry is so uncool and such a mess. Louis probably wants someone who is hot, someone who isn’t awkward and gawky and not at all a nerd. Besides, how would it even work? Louis leaves school next year, right? He’s probably want to find someone in the city, someone he can see all the time, someone who is constantly there and can make Louis feel good instead of ashamed like Harry would.

Harrys thoughts spiral down and transform from the thoughts about the kiss to insecurities that have yet to be buried deep down and harsh thoughts that make him sick.

Louis wont want Harry if he’s not skinny or pretty. He tells himself at least. So Harry makes a plan. He’ll skip dinner tonight and maybe breakfast. He tells his mum he feels sick and hopes she lets him skip dinner. She seems reluctant though so Harry has to do something to prove it.

So if Harry makes himself throw up into the toilet when he knows his mum is close enough to hear then that’s nobody’s business but his own.

That night, Harry lays awake in his bed, guilt ripping through him for what he did. He’s supposed to be getting better. Supposed to be happy and healthy.

But he also needs Louis to want him, to look at him and see someone he wants. Harry doesn’t know which is more important now; his health or Louis. But, really, he’ll still be healthy. It’s not like he’ll stop eating all together. He just wants to maintain the body his has now, and skipping a few meals here and there won’t harm that, surely.

###

**Louis’ POV**

Monday morning arrives all too soon for Louis, and he isn’t sure he can face anyone at school. Not after Friday night.

Louis had spent the rest of the weekend thinking about the kiss. He really should not have done that, even though he really wanted to, and would do it again. But, see the dilemma that he’s gotten himself into a bit awkward. He wants Harry, but he can’t have Harry because Harry is underage. What does Harry even want? He can’t possibly want someone like Louis. Someone loud, and brash, and impulsive. Harry is quiet and shy and needs someone to nurture that and keep him happy all the time.

And Louis doesn’t think he can do that for him.

Louis should have guessed that today would be bad. Every morning before school, Harry and Louis meet at the lockers and sit there talking until home-group, but not this morning. Louis purposely got to school late just to avoid having to talk to Harry. Friday night is still fresh in Louis’ mind, so he is more than sure it’s fresh in Harry’s.

The boys immediately notice somethings up when Louis turns up late without even telling Harry, though, and question him in home-group.

“Are you and Harry okay?” Liam, ever the care bear, asks Louis as soon as he’s seated.

“What? Of course. Why wouldn’t we be?” Louis laughs nervously. What if Harry told them? Harry doesn’t have anyone else to talk to, so if he needed someone apart from Louis he would most likely turn to one of the boys. What if they are now disgusted with him for taking advantage of someone as young as Harry?

“Well, you turned up late and we didn't see Harry this morning yet.” Zayn puts in, twisting around in his chair to look directly at Louis.

“He didn’t say anything to you? Like he didn’t say he was upset or anything?” Louis really needs to know. Like, life or death.

Okay not life or death but it’s still extremely important that he knows.

“No, he didn’t.” Liam says, eyes narrowing at Louis. “Should he have?”

“No, no.” Louis is quick to say. “Nah, just, wanted to know if he did or not. Nothing to know really.”

“Lou, what happened? You didn’t, like, out him to his parents or something?” Liam inquires, narrowed eyes now wide open and concerned.

“God no!” Louis exclaims. “No I would never do that. I haven’t actually met his mum so that’s not even an option.”

“Okay, so what happened then?” Liam asks.

Louis hesitates. Can he tell the boys what happened? Would Harry be okay with that? Louis decides to just fuck it and he’ll deal with the consequences later.

“I kissed him. Like, full on made out with him. He’s a child. I’m 18. Oh, and he’s also sixteen. But it really doesn’t make anything better because I kissed him.” Louis blurts out in one go.

Liam stares at him for a moment, Zayn even turning around to stare.

“Alright, and?” Zayn says after a few moments of silence.

“And he’s still a child!” Louis says, completely frustrated now.

“By your logic, Louis, I’m still a child too.” Zayn says with a small grin. “I’m only seventeen and wont be eighteen until next year. Liam’s gonna be eighteen in a couple months. So will our relationship be bad if I was still with him when he’s eighteen and I’m not?”

“Zayn, I swear to god, do not come at me with your logical bullshit.” Louis groans. “You know my answer to that is no. You guys are good together.”

“Then why would you dating Harry be bad? He’s the age of consent meaning he can legally make his own decision. I’m tellin’ ya, Lou, it’s not as bad as you truly think.” Zayn argues.

Before Louis can respond to that, the teacher calls the room of students to attention for notices.

Louis manages to wait through a couple sentences before he breaks.

“Even if he is of the age of consent and can legally consent, that doesn’t mean he wanted me to kiss him. He hasn’t talked to me since I dropped him home Saturday so I don’t know what it will mean.” Louis whispers to Liam. “I’m just, I’m scared is all. What if I ruined everything?”

“I’m positive you didn’t ruin anything, okay? Harry is probably freaking out just as much as you right now so can you really blame him for not talking?” Ever the one to put things into perspective, Liam whispers back.

“Yeah, I guess. We’ll see at recess.” Louis whispers in reply. Lesson time is now beginning so Louis gets his laptop out, ready for the free line of nothing.

**Harry’s pov**

Getting up Monday morning is not easy task to complete. Harry had stayed in bed way past his alarm which then made him late for school. It wasn’t really an issue since he didn’t think he could face Louis knowing that he doesn’t like Harry back in the way Harry wants him to.

Which is why Harry purposely turned up late to school that morning. He really did not want to risk running into Louis until he could fully prepare himself for how awkward it is going to be.

“Harry!” Niall exclaims loudly when Harry walks into home group some five minutes late. It’s hard not to laugh when their teacher immediately tells Niall off.

Harry apologises to the teacher and quickly finds his seat next to Niall.

“Why are you late? Normally you are, like, ridiculously early.” Niall whispers once Harry is settled.

“I’ll explain after home group, yeah?” Harry whispers back. “There’s quite a bit to explain.”

Niall just nods in response, but then after a pause, says “Oh yeah okay, Louis rocked up late too. Us lads thought you’d gotten caught up at the carpark, honestly. But then he rocked up in time for homegroup and you didn’t.”

“Oh, no mum just didn’t wake me early enough.” Harry mumbles and turns back to the teacher, who was eyeballing them from the front of the classroom.

Louis came late, too? Was he planning on avoiding Harry too? Did Louis really hate the kiss so much that he would avoid Harry?

The thoughts only spiral from there as the teacher continues talking about the day.

###

It isn’t until Harry reaches his locker that he realises that he has a double free first up, and he panics. This is his free with Louis. He really can’t ignore Louis throughout this entire free. And then the worst thing happens.

Louis comes around the corner to his own locker. Harry panics and looks back to his locker, eyes staring intently at the cluster of books that hardly fit.

“Haz!”

 _Oh dear lord kill me now, please!_ Harry thinks as he turns to face the owner of the voice.

“Lou!” He reciprocates anyway.

“I’m sorry I didn’t get to see you this morning, I rocked up later coz mum wanted me to drop the girls to school and the twins were taking their sweet time getting ready.” Louis immediately says, making Harry feel bad. Louis has an actual excuse to coming late. Harry doesn’t have anything but wanting to avoid Louis. He feels so bad, but he can’t admit to why he was late.

“Oh, that’s okay. I came late as well. Um, woke up late.” Harry mumbles.

“Oh, what are the odds we both came late.” Louis chuckles, but Harry can tell the laugh doesn’t reach his eyes.

“We, er. We should go to our free now.” Harry says, closing his locker and rearranging the books in his arms. He has a test to study for and is ready to use that as an excuse to avoid conversation with Louis for the entirety of the free.

“Oh, right.” Harry watches as Louis awkwardly scratches the back of his neck. “Yeah, let’s go, then.”

They make their way into the free line and sit at the very back table together. Harry secretly hates this since he might be forced into conversation. But then he thinks and maybe talking to Louis wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe Harry could even bring up the kiss and see Louis’ reaction.

That plan, however, fails when Louis brings it up first.

“Hey look, Harry.” Louis whispers almost straight after they sit down. “I, er, wanted to say I’m sorry. About the weekend.”

Harry’s heart sinks. He’s sorry? He’s sorry that he kissed Harry? Harry can already feel the tears pricking his eyes.

“Not, um.” Louis clears his throat and continues. “Not about the, er. The kiss. But about the circumstance surrounding it.” Louis finishes awkwardly.

_Oh._

Harry turns to look Louis in the eye. He’s surprised to find nothing but honesty and vulnerability hidden in the deep blues.

Harry’s speechless. What can he say back to that?

“I’m not, either.” He blurts before he can think about it. Harry blinks hard for a moment, then looks Louis in the eye again. “I-I’m not sorry, either.” He repeats.

The smile that takes over Louis’ features is so blinding but Harry can’t look away.

“Oh, um. Good. That’s good.” Louis whispers. Louis turns back to his work so Harry does the same.

Half an hour later and Harry has not been able to focus on anything. He’s had his English assignment open for majority of that time and hasn’t actually read a single word of it. From the small glances he does every so often, Harry can see that Louis is getting things done. His constant typing is loud in Harry’s ears, reminding him of what he isn’t doing.

Harry really can’t bring himself to care though, not when Louis doesn’t regret the kiss.

The rest of the study class passes in silence, the awkward air between the boys still present but not as heavy as before.

Recess starts and Harry could not be more thankful to be out of the classroom and not sitting next to Louis any more.

TW: Drug talk

“Oi, lads,” Zayn says as he walks up to the table, “Eleanor’s birthday is this weekend, and we’re all invited. She told me to spread the word.”

“Oh, cool. I’ve been needing an excuse to get absolutely hammered.” Louis laughs.

“Yeah, same. D’ya think they’ll let me bring weed again?” Zayn asks. Harry’s eyes widen.

“Hell nah, Z.” Niall butts in. “Remember last time? You let that year ten kid get high and El’s mum found out.”

“I’ll ask anyway. I’m sure El wont mind.” Zayn says easily.

Harry barely pays attention to the words they’re saying. Instead, his mind delves into past memories, Ones of getting high to fight the hunger pains, to fight the bad thoughts, of his first time being high at a party he should not have gone to. Memories of his bullies forcing him to eat edibles on more than one occasion, getting him quickly addicted to the high.

A hand on his shoulder pulls him from his thoughts, making him flinch violently away. He moves his eyes quickly up to look at the hand hovering where his shoulder once was. His eyes trail along the arm until it gets to the familiar cerulean blues.

“Haz…?” Louis asks slowly, “Are you okay?”

Harry looks away from Louis for a moment to see if the others noticed and, of course, they did. Three pairs of eyes stare back at him. Harry briefly wonders when Liam joined them and how long he was zoned out for before standing up and mumbling something about needing to take a leek. Harry just needs to get away, and fast.

He walks as quickly as possible without running to the main corridor where the best toilets are. He locks himself in a stall and breathes heavily for a moment. He checks to make sure the floor is clean, then sits himself down with his back against the door.

He's already revealed so much to Louis. Drugs was something he wasn’t overly sure Louis would be okay with knowing about, so Harry never mentioned it. He doesn’t want Louis thinking badly of him any more than he already does.

Being high is something Harry constantly relates back to bad things. He’s tried lots of different drugs, most against his free will, so he doesn’t have any kind of healthy relationship with substance’s like drugs or alcohol.

His mum never found out about the drug use either, but once he was in the hospital and under constant testing, the doctor found out quickly and Harry made him promise to not tell his mother and since Harry was over fourteen, he was allowed to ask that.

Being in the hospital forced Harry to recover and be clean for the entire time. Then coming to Australia reinforced that since he doesn’t know any dealers around here.

After a few minutes of his spiralling thoughts, he’s pulled free by the sound of his phone vibrating against the floor.

 **From Lou:** Are you okay?

 **From Lou:** Do you want me to get front office to call Hattie or your mum?

Harry contemplates these questions deeply. Is he okay? No, probably not. But he isn’t going to tell Louis that. He would love to go home, too. But he doesn’t want to pull his mum or sister from work. He feels his phone vibrate again.

 **From Lou:** If they’re both working, I can take you home. I have a free now.

The punctuation in Louis’ texts constantly surprises Harry. He figured Louis would be the slackest typer, no punctuation, no capitals, no full stops. But he has the best typing and spelling.

Harry replies as fast as he can.

 **To Lou:** I’m ok. If it’s not too much trouble and if you aren’t missing any school work. I’m in the corridor bathrooms. Come get me?

Harry squeezes his eyes shut. That sounds so needy. Why is he like this? He shouldn’t be asking Louis for a ride home. He needs to pay Louis for wasting so much fuel on him. Harry searches his pockets for any change and finds five dollars. That really is not much but for now that will be enough. He’ll leave it in Louis’ car when he gets out.

Harry hears the door open and he stands up.

“Haz?” Louis’ voice echoes throughout the small bathroom.

Harry unlocks the stall and steps out, wiping his face quickly to check for any stray tears that he didn’t notice. Thankfully he finds none and he looks at Louis, scared of his reaction.

“Oh, Haz. C’mere.” Louis softly exhales, bringing Harry into a hug.

Harry gratefully holds onto Louis. He feels safe with Louis. Louis wont hurt him. Harry keeps reminding himself of this as they hug, Louis’ arms wrapping around his waist and securing Harry to his own body.

“I’m okay, Lou.” Harry whispers, “Promise.”

“I know. But what was that? You got so lost in your thoughts. You didn’t hear any of us saying your name?”

Harry slightly shakes his head. “’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

“Shh, it’s okay, Harry. Nothing to apologise for.” Louis pulls back slightly, “But what caused it? Did something we say trigger you?”

“Um, yeah. But it’s okay, now. I don’t think it will do it again. I just wasn’t expecting it.” Harry mumbles. “Now that I know to expect something like that, I’ll be better next time.”

Louis furrows his eyebrows. “But what did we say? I don’t want to hurt you, Harry, so if something we talk about is bad for you, then we wont talk about it.”

Harry stutters for a couple seconds. Should he tell Louis? Probably not. But since when did Harry listen to his own advice? “I’ll tell you in the car, okay?”

“Okay, Haz.” Louis nods. “I signed you out, by the way, so we can just get your things and go.”

They walk back to the study hub and get Harry’s things, then head to the student car park.

Once settled in the car, Harry breathes deeply. Here goes nothing.

“Drugs.” He says. Nice start. Blunt and to the point.

“Drugs?” Louis asks, clearly looking for elaboration.

“Talking about weed is what caused me to, y’know. Spiral.” Harry continues. “I didn’t tell you this, mostly because I didn’t know what your stance on drugs was, but I had, I guess you could call it a drug problem? But it wasn’t my choice a lot of the time?” Bad choice of words. Oh god. Harry’s panicking now. This was a terrible idea. Why did he decide to tell Louis?

“Um, before you say anything. I’m fine now.” Harry assures, noticing Louis open his mouth. “Got clean. It was mostly just weed, which I only took to stop hunger pains, I guess.”

“Sometimes I would be forced to go to parties and they would fuck me up proper on MDMA and coke and acid.” Harry says, convincing himself it’s better for Louis to know it all rather than just some. “Not all at once but like I’ve been high on them all at some point. Because I was so weak, I couldn’t fight them so it was all a mess. Mum never found out. I think Hattie knew about the weed but figured it was fine.”

“Harry, that’s so serious. They were horrible people.” Louis says eventually. “You know you could have pressed charges against them, right?”

“Yeah, I know. The doctor made sure I knew that. But since mum didn’t know, I didn’t want to do anything. Just wanted to move on, really.”

“You also know that none of us would ever pressure you into taking drugs, right?” Louis asks earnestly, “I’ve only done weed a handful of times, and Zayn always smokes outside, and never lets anyone join unless they’ve done it before. He never suggests anyone do it, just does it for himself, and sometimes me and Niall join. Liam doesn’t want to and we would never make him. Same with you, Harry.”

“I know, Louis. I just wasn’t expecting Zayn to bring up drugs. Bad memories, is all.” Harry mumbles.

They are silent for a minute or so, until Louis breaks the silence.

“Did they… Did they ever do anything to you, Harry? Like, while you were high and not in control.” Louis says timidly, as if he was afraid of the answer. Harry really doesn’t blame him.

“Uh, I don’t really, like, remember a lot of it. Only the start. So I don’t know.” Harry says quietly. “And, I don’t want to know. I’m okay with not knowing, because if I knew, then it would only cause more problems.”

Harry risks a glance at Louis. He looks so sad. Harry doesn’t want to see Louis be sad, especially not because of him. “I’m fine, now, Lou. I’m completely clean, haven’t used in months. Haven’t wanted to either. They can’t get to me here.”

“Okay, if you’re sure.” Louis seems hesitant. “I can tell Zayn to not bring the weed, so you won’t have to worry about being exposed to it again. And if he does then I definitely won’t use.”

“No, I don’t want to ruin Zayn’s fun. He can use if he wants to, I’ll be able to control myself.” Harry reassures.

“If you’re sure, Harry.” Louis says, “I will be drinking, though. Like a lot. I have needed a good excuse to drink for a while and no one has been having birthdays.”

“That’s okay. I’ll drink a bit too.” Harry says.

In no time the short drive to Harry’s house is over and Harry is getting out of the car.

“D'ya want me to stay?” Louis asks suddenly just before Harry closes the door.

“Uh, if you want to. I’m not…I’m not opposed to it.” Harry mumbles shyly. “Your stuff is still at school, though.”

“I’ll get it later, it’s just in my locker.” Louis says and hurries to put the car into park and follow Harry.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Comments are welcome  
> friendly criticism is also welcome


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